In the Anusasana Parva, Bhishma imparts wisdom to Yudhishthira, drawing from the teachings of Daksha Prajapati. He emphasizes the importance of showing reverence, kindness, and all forms of pleasant treatment to the bride upon marriage. Male family members, like fathers, brothers, and in-laws, should treat her with respect and give her presents. Such gestures, he explains, lead to significant happiness and benefits. Bhishma emphasizes the importance of worshipping and showing affection to women, arguing that where women are respected, even the gods are happy. Conversely, neglecting women renders all endeavours fruitless. If women in a household suffer because of mistreatment, it brings about the downfall of the family. Bhishma warns that homes disregarding women face destruction, losing their splendour, growth, and prosperity. He believes women deserve honor and worship as they represent wealth and success, so those who desire prosperity should show them respect.
Bhishma knows the rules and practices of treating women, yet he violates the same when it comes to protecting the daughter-in-law of the house for which the entire clan has paid very heavily. If he had acted with justice and morality in mind, we might have avoided the fierce battle that was fought on that account later on.
Here are three major episodes when Bhishma did not show respect to women that had serious consequences in his life.
Amba Abduction – When Vichitravirya, Bhishma’s half-brother, reached adulthood, Bhishma assumed the responsibility of arranging his marriage. He clandestinely attended the Swayamvara of the king of Kashi’s daughters and abducted all three princesses. In the ensuing conflict with the assembled suitors, Bhishma emerged victorious. However, his actions wreaked havoc in Amba’s life, as she was already devoted to King Salva. Vichitravirya declined to marry her because of her prior affections, and Salva rejected her because Bhishma had taken her. Despite Amba’s pleas, Bhishma, bound by his vow of celibacy, refused to wed her. Even her appeal to Parasuram for justice proved futile. Eventually, unable to find a resolution, Amba tragically immolated herself. Vichitravirya’s untimely death and lack of children led to challenges for Ambika and Ambalika. Thus, an uninvited guest at the Swayamvara of the Kasi Princes wrecked their lives. Amba, having blessed by Lord Siva, takes birth as Shikhandini in her next life and becomes the cause of Bhishma’s death in the Mahabharata war.
According to Hindu epics, eight different types of marriages include Brahma Vivaha (solemnized with rituals and parental consent), Daiva Vivaha (marriage where the bride is given away as a sacrifice), Arsha Vivaha (marriage through the exchange of gifts), Prajapatya Vivaha (simple marriage with vows), and Asura Vivaha (marriage through bride price or coercion), Gandharva Vivaha (love marriage based on mutual consent), Rakshasa Vivaha, is a marriage by abduction, and Paishacha Vivaha, where the groom seduces or intoxicates the bride and then has physical relations with her without her consent. The first four are approved and recommended and the last four, not recommended. By abducting the princes for his brother, Bhishma committed a severe offence in their lives.
Gandhari – is the daughter of King Subala of Gandhara, known for her piety, beauty and devotion. She was married to blind Dhritarashtra, as arranged by Bhishma. The family was unhappy with such an alliance, as Dhritarashtra would never be the king due his blindness. But the fear of Bhishma and Kuru kingdom forced them for consent. The price Hastinapura pays is that Shakuni becomes a permanent resident, infesting the palace and spinning the web of intrigue that destroys the dynasty.
Disrobing of Draupadi – The Draupadi disrobing incident is one of the most harrowing and pivotal events in the Indian epic Mahabharata, symbolizing the height of moral degradation and injustice. During the game of dice,Yudhishthira gambled away his kingdom, wealth, his brothers, himself and Draupadi, to the Kauravas, and lost everything. Duryodhana, the eldest Kaurava prince, incited by his jealousy and desire for vengeance, ordered Draupadi to be brought to the assembly hall where the gambling was taking place.
As Draupadi is dragged into the court, she vehemently protested against the injustice of her being staked in the game, arguing that a wife cannot be gambled away by her husband, who himself had lost his freedom in the game. Despite her protests and appeals to the elders present, including Bhishma and Drona, Draupadi was disrobed in public by Dushasana, Duryodhana’s brother. This incident symbolizes the degradation of societal norms and values, the abuse of power, and the plight of women in a patriarchal society. Draupadi’s humiliation became a pivotal moment in the Mahabharata, leading to the eventual war between the Pandavas and the Kauravas.
A society that does not respect women suffers from many detrimental consequences that affect its social, economic, and cultural fabric. Here are some significant impacts:
Gender Inequality: Lack of respect for women perpetuates gender inequality, where women are denied equal rights, opportunities, and access to resources compared to men. This inequality undermines the principles of justice and fairness within society.
Violence Against Women: Disrespect towards women often contributes to higher rates of violence against them, including domestic violence, sexual assault, harassment, and trafficking. Such violence not only harms individual women but also undermines their sense of safety and security within society.
Underrepresentation in Decision-Making: When women are not respected, their voices are often marginalized, leading to their underrepresentation in decision-making processes at various levels, including politics, business, and community leadership. This lack of representation limits diverse perspectives and hampers the development of inclusive policies and solutions.
Economic Disadvantage: Women’s lack of respect can translate into economic disadvantages, including lower wages, limited job opportunities, and barriers to accessing credit and property rights. This perpetuates cycles of poverty and hinders the overall economic development of society.
Health Impacts: Disrespect towards women can have significant health impacts, including limited access to healthcare services, higher rates of maternal mortality, and poor reproductive health outcomes. Discrimination and stigma may also deter women from seeking medical care when needed.
Interpersonal Relationships: Lack of respect for women can erode trust and mutual respect within interpersonal relationships, including within families and communities. This can lead to strained relationships, breakdowns in communication, and increased conflict.
Cultural and Social Stagnation: Societies that do not respect women often perpetuate harmful cultural norms and practices that restrict women’s freedom, autonomy, and participation in public life. This stagnation stifles social progress and innovation, as diverse perspectives and talents are not fully utilized or valued.
In summary, a society that cannot respect women not only violates their human rights but also undermines its own potential for progress, prosperity, and social cohesion. Respect for women is essential for building a more equitable, inclusive, and sustainable society for all.